“Something’s inside me,” Fyodor repeated.

I could not believe my ears. “What? Are you kidding, old chap? Have you found out about me?”

I was sitting in a shitty dim cave sub-compartment on a white stump located at an erroneous Earth pole. The other agents were dead or had transferred back, according to Lieutenant Smartoop, who had been smashed right in front of my eyes. I couldn’t remember anything at all from the last terrestrial years. In addition, there were now two bladdy earthlings called Platon and Marisa watching me every time I twitched, and Señor Martinez who had already driven me up the wall.

But a thousand smelly proboscises!!.. And if that was not enough, now my host was about to discover me.

Unceremoniously, Fyodor started to touch my belly, chest, neck, and finally my head.

I did not like it at all but I chose to be more careful with my host now. I wondered what was going to happen next. “What’s making the arrow point at me?..” my host thought, “It’s ridiculous. It’s like I’m stuffed full of iron. But what if..?”

Fragmented images flashed through my mind.

A crunchy icy substance. A murkiness. A white surface below me and a faint light shining before me. A pervasive cold. Then the images rewound. I saw something I had not seen before. A small compartment filled with a subdued yellow light. Humans without spacesuits beat each other with twigs made of some weird appendices.

“I definitely remember… banya,” Fyodor kept thinking. “And forest… Was I… too drunk? And then… that strange accident. A weird roar. What came next? Pain… Was I in a hospital..? Operated on??”

Another cave with blue lights appeared in my mind. Some humans wearing masks bent over me.

AAARGH!

The image disappeared. “Maybe they performed surgery on me… Maybe I broke my bones… and they… who are THEY?.. implanted some pieces of metal in me. That would explain the compass thing. Maybe I’m a kind of robocop now.”

Fyodor shook my head violently. I didn’t get who the hell “robocop” was. But it didn’t sound good.

“What a pile of rubbish I’m imagining!” my host said.

“Balderdash!” I said aloud to consolidate him in his last statement. “Earthling bragging”.

Fyodor cupped my proboscis. He grabbed my lower lip in despair.

“Was that me talking?..” he thought, twirling his lip. “But how shall I …? It can’t be true … I’m really freaked out… I have to get out of the city… what if it’s not just a metal… what the hell have they done to me?? How did I end up in Moscow?.. how did I end up in Barcelona? ANS-WER ME!”. With a frenzy that was beyond logic, and without warning, Fyodor began to slap my face. “Speak! Speak! Speak, scoundrel!”

Six minutes later, his face more swollen than a furuncano that is about to explode, and his lips hotter than the plasma lakes of Light Pole, Fyodor furiously threw the compass against the wall of the sub-compartment. It ricocheted off my forehead. “Ouch!” I shouted. “I’ve got a bump, earthy.” The compass fell to the floor, broken.

Fyodor touched my forehead. However it seemed he’d now stopped caring about pain. Before I landed on Earth, Fyodor had a right, of course, to torture himself if he wanted to, but now we were sharing the same body, and, according to Kintoopian inter-galaxy law, he was not the sole owner of it. He had me to reckon with. The problem was that he did not know I was now his master. Fyodor was less preoccupied with what was happening now, the fact that I was speaking, than with his past, the bladdy accident in Siberia.

A new series of images were flashing through my mind again. This time I clearly got to see a strange object in the dark sky. It was rapidly approaching. But it wasn’t going as fast as Fyodor was becoming crazy, and he didn’t even realize what it was. I did though. It was a spaceship. One hundred thousand rotten satellites!! I remember I saw it. A bladdy alien spaceship was bladdy well landing next to me right after I arrived on Earth. How was that possible? Who was piloting it? I wish I had the answers to those dreadful questions.

Info iconDid you know?..
        
According to earthling standards, there are various interactions between different species in an ecosystem:

As far as I know the relationship between kintoopians and earthlings (taking into account that Kintoopians are a superior race with superb skills and earthlings are inferior to them), I would say it is a symbiosis at a disadvantage (that earthlings benefit from).