A Kintoopian to his friend:
‘I dreamt that I was a spacenaut like my father.’
‘Your father is a spacenaut?’
‘No, he dreamt that as well.’

An emergency bubble message: “Chaps, does anyone in your team have any experience with a healing tongue assistant? I need professional advice.”
Someone’s answer: “Do you mean, how do we rescue the remains of the poor chap who has been swallowed?”

“What is the most surrealistic thing that could happen to a space traveller?”
“Being so close to the stars and not being able to get an autograph.”

A unemployed kintoopian looking for a job.
“If I worked here at this appendifarm, how many credits could I earn?”
The appendifarmer answers:
“At first you’re going to earn about 50 kilobonus of creativity per day, and later about 65.”
“So, better I’ll come later.”

A SlickTrace agent to his extraterrestrial Dangers instructor:
“Instructor. Would you punish me for something I haven’t done?”
“No, of course not.”
“Good, because I haven’t done my homework.”

A boss to a bibliogardener: “Go and water those appendixes.”
Bibliogardener: “But it’s raining, Sir…”
Boss: “No excuses, old chap, you can use an umbrella.”

Whinetoop: “It’s impossible to talk with you, old chap. Can you substantiate your point of view somehow differently rather than just with ‘cool’ or ‘not cool’?”
Toughtoop: “Yep. But it won’t be cool.”

Employer to an applicant: “We need someone who is responsible at our welfare refinery, old chap.”
Applicant: “I’m the one you want. In my last job, as a peddler of stone porridge, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”

The happiness-doctor told the patient, “Your soul is dying.”
The patient replied, “I want a second opinion.”
The happiness-doctor then said, “Okay, you’re rather ugly as well.”

“I was a vain and unbearable Kintoopian some time ago.”
“And you’re not anymore?”
“No, now I’m perfect.”

Professor Philosophytoop, University of Fleck Hill

“What bothers you more, ignorance or indifference?”
“I don’t know, and I really don’t care.”

Trainer Nonchaltoop, after the defeat of the Light Pole’s Athletic Club in Mother Kintoop Cup.

“Anyone who stands up for an absolute truth is an idiot.”
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely!”

Notatalldumbtoop, in front of the chamber of town councillors of the municipal corporation of Trapisondia

‎”Some time ago I was really aimless, but now I’m not sure about it”.

Fooltoop, SlickTrace’s kintoopian agent